He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
