I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
