she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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