I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
