I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
