ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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