Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
