You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
