can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
