He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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