butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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