Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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