Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
