also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
