I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
