if you like me you must not know who I am
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
