Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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