Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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