Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
