The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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