well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just got carded by a ten year old.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
