tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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