Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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