smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
