Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
