Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
