Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
