what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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