You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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