So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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