can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
