Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
