My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
