Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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