Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I need to align my fucking chakras
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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