I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
