Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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