Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
