I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
