thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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