This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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