I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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