happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
They have beer where we have blood.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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