She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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