they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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