I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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