how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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