he thought i was a dude.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
