8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
