Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
