To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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