Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
