Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
