dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
